Santa came early this year for lil Tofurkey, cashing in on precious gift certificates to Babies”R”Us and Target. He loaded up his red cart with toys, a stroller, a high chair, and spent an absurd amount of time picking out a diaper trash can. Good thing Mrs. Clause was there too to help with these big decisions.

When Santa arrived to drop off the goods, he saw something in our apartment he had never seen before—a Christmas tree! It was filled with lights, glittery red balls, and make-shift ornaments like kissing frog salt and pepper shakers and a Tommie Frazier card. On top was a Santa hat like none other, covered in sequins so dazzling the saint was suddenly tempted to snatch it off the tree and run off to Las Vegas!

But the smell of pine needles brought him back and he finished the job, piling presents high for the 33-week-old baby who had no idea what all the commotion was about. While his mamma slept, the baby lay curled up in a warm little womb, his head now pointed downwards ready for his birthday. This new position was good news to his mamma—but it was also a curious thing—as she now wondered what it would be like to experience one’s entire waking life upside down.

The baby let out a kick as he heard the jingle of Santa’s reindeers take off into the sky. This woke up mamma and she let out a kick too from a sudden cramp in her calf. This woke up dad who rolled over, gently laid a hand over mama’s gyrating belly and chucked.

Mama’s calf still hurt but she smiled. She knew Santa had been stomping around downstairs and she would certainly appreciate his gifts. But she also knew, even without the shiny new toys and Diaper Deluxe Champ, they already had everything—kicking, rolling, and giggling in this bed—that they could ever wish for.

Celebrating the holidays with our first baby and our first tree!